Day 16: Who inspired you? My husband. Every day, the Caveman inspires me to keep going. He was, and is, my biggest supporter when I decided I wanted to go back to school. His outlook on life is amazing and I know there is a reason we were meant to be. He calms me down, keeps me level, and maintains that cool look towards life, as if to say "Bring it, I can take whatever you throw!" I'm jealous, but also inspired, by that outlook.
Day 17: How did you make a difference? I can't really think of anything I did that made a difference. I dont' feel like I affected someones life in any profound way. I feel like there are many things I let myself down on. I didn't do any charitable things this year. I know I did great, but I really feel like I didn't make a difference. I just lived. That's really all I could do in 2012. A fabulous year, a busy year, but just a year when the day is done.
Day 18: The colour of you? Orange. Always Orange. Bright and cheery and happy. And yet I also see it is lonely and angry and full of despair. Its close enough to red to be full of frustration but also close enough to yellow to be full of hope. That's how I am, that's how I always am. I live on this line, always wavering from one side to the other. Some days I'm dark orange, hiding in a corner, wallowing in the thoughts in my head, hoping to find a light at the end of the long dark day, week, or even month. Some days I'm bright orange, bouncing through life without a care, loving everyone and everything and trying to remember to be grateful for what I DO have instead of worrying about what I don't. Its a delicate line I live, but it's my line and I live it to the fullest!
Day 19: How did you nourish yourself? To be honest, I didn't nourish myself at all in 2012. In fact, I was mean to my body all year. I stopped going to Zumba, regular exercise, no more hot yoga, started eating worse, let negative thoughts fill my head, allowed stress and work to control me, and just beat myself up emotionally and physically. I was NOT good to myself, not at all. I want to change. I need to change. I'm starting to change. I feel like every year I learn more about myself that causes me to rethink how I've done things in the past. "Hard Work and Determination" just don't seem to cut it for me. My body and my brain don't work with that philosophy. I want to take better care of myself in 2013. I have plans and goals and I have a husband on board to help me reach those! It'll be a new year, but I'll make the best of it yet
Day 20: What was lost and what was found? Keeping this one simple. I lost thousands of dollars in debt when I finalized my bankruptcy. I found a new respect for money management. The mentality for money management has always been there for me, but I let a horrible relationship dictate my financial decisions for 5 years and wound up in the biggest hole I could ever imagine. I'm recovering, quickly, and on track to reach my financial goals much quicker now! Student loans are getting paid off fast, and I just bought my first car with CASH! Making progress!
Day 21: What’s on the dream list?
* Finishing my Bachelor's Degree
* Live in a HOUSE, not an apartment
* Become a mommy
* Move somewhere with BETTER Seasons (I want SNOW in Winter and SUN in Summer)
* Start my own company (hmmmm - family business with my Daddio sounds good to me!)
* Smile EVERY DAY
Day 22: What was the greatest gift you received in 2012?
I got my Christmas present from the Caveman at the beginning of December. He gave it to me because it is to be used as a TOOL, not a TOY! He wanted to get me something that would help me with school that I really wanted. So, he went out and bought me a Kindle Fire HD! I was completely amazed that he bought it for me. We are a little tight with money, but he still wanted to get me something that I could have fun with but would also be EXTREMELY helpful in me accelerating through my coursework to finish my degree. I couldn't have been happier!
Day 23: Name three excuses -- stories you tell yourself that are holding you back -- that you are going to let go of in 2013.
I'm going to let go of my emotional attachment to food.
I'm going to let go of the internal fear I have that I am not good enough for the great things I already have.
I'm going to let go of half my wardrobe - not hanging onto anything anymore that is too small or too big.
So there you go! Next week I will post the last of the #Reverb12 posts.
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