simple answer - No. first, I know it will never happen with me, because I naturally have larger thighs, even when i'm at a healthy size. but also because I see it as a scary sign to an eating disorder. I have had freinds with ED's and they all had that "gap" between their legs. it was a sign that there was no muscle in there legs, no definition, nothing but skin and bones. Don't want it, no thank you!
How do you deal with being around food?
when i see food, I eat it. unless i'm allergic to it. or its something i'm not fond of (like cooked spinach!). I do my best to limit myself on certain items. There have been times in my life where I have tried to completely cut things out: Soda, Sugar, Fast Food, sweets, chips, red meat. but that All or Nothing sort of outlook always backfired on me. I've found that by just limiting myself and telling people around me of what i'm doing, I tend to be successful. My biggest problem is that I give up when life gets rough, i'm a stress eater, and then I throw all my progress out the window. I'm working on it. I never expected over night results, but i'm working hard and hopefully I will have stronger will power in the future!
Let me start off by apologizing for dropping the ball on this one. It was not intentional. The Pre-Husband and I had a lot to do before heading on our 5 day vacation to Vegas - and when we got back, it was a whirlwind of crazy. But i'm getting back on track and have every intention of finishing this mini blog challenge!
What excites you most about reaching your UGW?
I think what most excites me about getting to my Ultimate Goal Weight (which is 150lbs) is being able to shop in normal size shops. Being able to find clothes that not only fit, but flatter me, and aren't purchased from specialty shops for plus size girls. I don't have the funds to buy hind end fashion, but if I want to wear nice clothes for work, I have to shop at a store like Lane Bryant, because Walmart clothes just make me look frumpy. and if I want to go out for a night with the girls, or a date night with the Pre-Husband, I buy my clothes from Torrid, because target and walmart clothing is always too tight or too revealing for my size. These stores are super pricey for the simplest of clothing, so it will be nice to be able to shop at a store like Target and buy clothes that I see and love, but don't currently fit into!
I've been in such a rut since the first of the year. why? well, I couldn't even tell you because I DONT KNOW!! I started the year happy and hopeful - and the weather in this state (gloomy/snowy/rainy/windy) has just made every day more miserable than the last.
I turned 28 on the 24th of March - and boy did I really start to feel the wheels of life bringing me down. Its been 10 years since I graduated high school, and where the hell am I? I'm happy in some aspects of my life and miserable in so many others. I sat back and took a look at everything I've done in the last 10 years and compared it to what I wanted to do in these 10 years, and boy am I way off!! And the worst of it? I feel like i'm losing my creative edge. I haven't baked in forever (no reason/no funds). I recently painted some simple boxes for my "Be My Bridesmaid" boxes and had so much fun, but don't have the funds to keep painting. The dogs managed to get a hold of my scarf project I've been working on for EVER (because i keep boxing it up and forgetting about it) and now the yarn is toast and the scarf is a loss.
my one outlet for creativity lately was work, and the fun part of my job is being taken away while they "groom" me to be a part of management. I haven't even been there 2 years, and while its a HUGE honor that they see those skills and that potential in me - I just feel like it is WAY TOO soon for me. they haven't let me finish learning one thing before they are shoving me on to something new. and now they are expecting me to be an 'expert" on topics I now hardly anything about. tooooo muuuuuch!! give me my CAD drawings and my fun stuff back!!
I want fun and excitement. I want creativity again! I want to draw and design and do something worth while! BRING IT BACK!!! Just bring back the sunshine and my world will be normal again!!
What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?
My lowest weight was in high school and my first 2 years of college. I stayed between 145 and 150lbs. After my second year of college, I got into a bad relationship that lasted 4 and a half years. i definitely had the rose colored glasses. I thought my life was great and it wasn't until things completely fell apart that I realized how stupid I was - how manipulated I was - how far I had fallen. When I left my ex i was at the lowest part of my life. I weighed almost 300lbs, I had let myself be conned into leaving without ANYTHING and wound up with all the debt from the relationship, because everything was in my name. I spent almost 5 years staying inside, eating fast food, scared to go outside, following whatever my ex said or did. even now, its hard for me to really look back and see what I dealt with. I made a decision to block it all out, call it the past, and move on. Its been almost 4 years since I left him. it took me a while to recollect who i AM as a person, as a woman, as a human being. It took great friends to get me back on track. it took me close to a year before i even looked at guys again. and when I did, the most amazing man found ME and helped me gain myself again! I'm losing the weight now, I'm working hard, and i'm feeling better about myself. and now, I'm getting married to the amazing man who has helped me turn my life around and make it what I WANT!