Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What path are you taking?

A lot of thinking and reflecting has occurred in the last few weeks. I feel like I’m finally ready to take on the world with no fears. Not quite, but almost! Haha. Also, some people have brought things up that made me think about how I make choices in my life. I’ve reflected a lot of my life and my choices from the time I graduated until now. Sure, I could have done things hundreds of different was, but based on the choices I made and the path I forged through the unknown, I have wound up here.

So, where is here? Here is exactly where I want to be, where I should be, and were I feel comfortable. I had thought I wanted marriage, a family, a big house with a minivan in the driveway - the ‘American Dream’. I thought I wanted these things early, and years ago. But then again, I also thought I knew what love was back then. Learned the hard way that love isn’t always what you dream it to be!!

I am a firm believer that all people learn and do things differently at different times in there lives for a reason. I admire my friends who took the standard college route and found great jobs by 23. I am sometimes jealous of those that had found true love long before I did, and started beautiful families. But at the end of the day, I’m forging my OWN path and there is no reason for me to do things the same way they all did.

I said earlier that I thought I knew what love was. Well, I didn’t. I was trapped in a relationship out of convenience and convinced myself it was love because neither of us left the situation. One day I got the courage to leave and when I did, I gave up on love, on life, on having a family, on living in a big house with kids running around and playing in the yard.

Only after I left did I start to learn about ME. Who I truly am, what I really wanted in my life, what I wanted to accomplish while I was still here. As I started learning about myself, I met someone. A guy who was like no other. A guy who did what I had never done before - he lived his life how HE wanted to and not for someone else, doing what others told him he should be doing. The more time I spent with him, the more I opened myself up. The more I started doing what I wanted to, not what someone told me I should be doing, what was “expected” of me. And then, it hit me, I had found what love really was. Someone who helps me grow, teaches me how to live life, someone who cares for me, despite all my faults, and loves me for who I am and I am growing to be. I realized I could still have all the things I wanted in life, but I didn’t need to rush! I would all come in time and I just needed to keep following my path and creating my own future, my own life of adventure and surprises and choices.

I am almost 27 years old. I’m not married. I have no children. I don’t own a house. And as of recently, I don’t own a car. And none of this bothers me! If I wanted to jump on a plane and move to Nevada, I could! I take care of the responsibilities I have, but the only person I need to worry about is myself and I live freely and with excitement that way.

I know that when the time comes for the family part in my life, I will be prepared and do what is necessary to provide stability for my family. But until then - I’m still young! As much as I realize I’m getting “older” it doesn’t mean I’m old, or that I have to stop having fun. I’m having the time of my life! I have a career that I absolutely love! And I have a man in my life that I love fully and completely that I share my adventures with. That’s all I need right now and it fills my life with absolute joy!

I will not make excuses for who I am and how I live my life. I don’t need to justify the choices I make and the paths I choose. I happen to have chosen a different path then many people I know, but that’s what makes us each unique!

“If you take responsibility for yourself, you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams” ~Les Brown
“And in the end, its not the year in your life that count, it’s the life in your years” ~Abraham Lincoln
“A Man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams” ~John Barrymore
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” ~Les Brown

Peace and Good JuJu to You,

1 comment:

  1. My favoritest entry yet! You keep me hopeful for the future.


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