Thursday, April 5, 2012

Where has my creativity gone?

I've been in such a rut since the first of the year. why? well, I couldn't even tell you because I DONT KNOW!!  I started the year happy and hopeful - and the weather in this state (gloomy/snowy/rainy/windy) has just made every day more miserable than the last.

I turned 28 on the 24th of March - and boy did I really start to feel the wheels of life bringing me down. Its been 10 years since I graduated high school, and where the hell am I? I'm happy in some aspects of my life and miserable in so many others. I sat back and took a look at everything I've done in the last 10 years and compared it to what I wanted to do in these 10 years, and boy am I way off!! And the worst of it? I feel like i'm losing my creative edge. I haven't baked in forever (no reason/no funds). I recently painted some simple boxes for my "Be My Bridesmaid" boxes and had so much fun, but don't have the funds to keep painting. The dogs managed to get a hold of my scarf project I've been working on for EVER (because i keep boxing it up and forgetting about it) and now the yarn is toast and the scarf is a loss.

my one outlet for creativity lately was work, and the fun part of my job is being taken away while they "groom" me to be a part of management. I haven't even been there 2 years, and while its a HUGE honor that they see those skills and that potential in me - I just feel like it is WAY TOO soon for me. they haven't let me finish learning one thing before they are shoving me on to something new. and now they are expecting me to be an 'expert" on topics I now hardly anything about. tooooo muuuuuch!! give me my CAD drawings and my fun stuff back!!

I want fun and excitement. I want creativity again! I want to draw and design and do something worth while! BRING IT BACK!!! Just bring back the sunshine and my world will be normal again!!

Peace and Good JuJu,

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