Monday, November 29, 2010

Which way do you go.....

When you face a fork in the road of life??

March 26th, 2010... I finally graduated college with the degree I've dreamed of for years. 8 years of hard work and dedication, of homework and tests, of all nighters and huge projects, all while working a full time job. It had finally all culminated in that one day, that walk across a small stage to collect the piece of paper saying i was done! It was by far my biggest accomplishment! But in the weeks that followed, I felt that I was at my lowest point. I had accomplished an amazing thing, but at what cost? For what sacrifices?

I had wasted too many years in a damaging relationship. I moved multiple times, hoping to find happiness and stability. I plummeted myself into unmanageable debt in an effort to accomplish "great things" and to do more with my life than others before me, to keep others happy but not myself. I lost my heart, my health, my sense of self... my humor, my personality, my life! My dreams had faded to almost nothing. My hopes and wishes for the future, seemed unattainable.

I finally realized that I just kept falling down and not a lot was going up for me. I finally have a few strings in my life that are going the right way, and everyday I feared that those good things would suddenly disappear. I realized that if I didn't pull myself up out of whatever hole I was in, I would lose the only good things I still had in my life; my job and Josh. No one can pull me out of this hole, but myself, and I knew I had to change.

My first year of college, I made a list of things I wanted to do in my life, things I wanted to accomplish. I finally decided that I needed to finish this list, to finish the things I told my self that I would accomplish in my life. I'm taking the little steps now, to accomplish the big things later on. And of all the things on the list, the first one I am facing is: Running a Marathon.

Now, I've decided to start small and just run a half marathon. I've chosen to run the Rock n Roll Seattle Half Marathon that takes place on June 25, 2011. In addition to running, I have decided to help raise money for a program called Girls on the Run. Girls On The Run is a learning program for ages ranging thirteen to eighteen, it educates as well as promotes positive development and enhances self-esteem through working out. Their goal is to reduce the number of potential at-risk activities among that particular demographic. I think this is a great organizatin and their mission and goals is absolutely outstanding.

This is going to be a tough experience for me, but in the end, I hope it helps me acheive some great things, like losing weight, finding myself, becoming more comfortable in my own skin, and finally opening up to people again, and not keeping things bottled up inside. I'm hoping this journey will help me become the person I know I am on the inside.

Care to join me on this adventure??


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