Tuesday, December 10, 2013

#Reverb13: Autopilot

Reading today's prompt really struck hard. So much of life is repeatable that sometimes you don't even notice it!

Living life on auto-pilot can feel disorienting and dull. How did you cultivate a life worth loving during 2013?
How can you turn off your auto-pilot button in 2014?
So much of this year has been wash-rinse-repeat. For the first part of the year it was wake up at 5am, get ready for work, go to the bus station, spend an hour and a half on the bus (usually standing room only), get to work, work 9-10 hours, get back on a bus home (again, standing room only) and get home roughly 6:30pm - from there I would attempt to make dinner, or order in, sit with my laptop and do some studying, and then go to bed. It was the same, every day. On the weekends, I might get out for a little bit with the Caveman, but chances are I was working on the house cleaning and laundry that didn't get done during the week and then studying more. The disadvantage of accelerating through my program is that my homework load is more than I've ever had before. 20-30 hours of studying a week, on top of a full time job, I just didn't have time for anything else this year. Even after we moved and I worked from home, I still had a similar schedule. And I found that because I didn't have a commute anymore, I worked more hours trying to get things done. My previous 40-50 hour work weeks were turning into 50-60 hour work weeks. And then, because of Caveman's work schedule, I didn't have a car to go do anything when I finished work or the weekends.

I missed out on a lot in 2013 by being on auto-pilot. There was no cultivating of anything. I let a stale routine dictate my life. I let other forces control what I did on a daily basis. It wasn't fair to me or for the people around me. With all the positive that came in 2013, overall it was a very dull year.

In 2014, I will still have a routine. I need some sort of routine to get things done - but I'm going to be open for the spontaneous events. I'm going to end my 'Day' when I leave the office and see what happens for the evening. I'm going to force myself out of my house on the weekends, even if just to take the dogs for a walk.

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